‘I didn’t have a life outside work’: The return to the traditional 9 to 5 is exhausting.
Flexible working was the biggest benefit of the pandemic, now it feels like we’re back in the burn out era…
A newly-employed graduate recently went viral on TikTok, sharing her experience of the nine to five way of working, explaining how difficult balancing her job with the rest of her life felt. “The schedule in general is crazy,” she sobbed. “Being in the office until five [pm]… I literally finish work and it’s pitch black. How do you have friends? How do you have energy? How do you have time for dating? I don’t have time for anything and I’m so stressed out.”
And she isn’t alone. Whether people are starting out in their first job or are years into the corporate way of life, the struggle to cope with a nine to five feels palpable. For the first time since the pandemic, 2023 has felt the closest to a pre-pandemic lifestyle – and it shows. 72 per cent of companies globally are mandating return to office policies, Amazon has been sending disciplinary emails to employees who are not in the office three days a week and you only have to get on the Northern Line tube at 8:00am shoved against someone’s sweaty armpit, to realise the office is well and truly back.
Sure, it’s nice sometimes. Thursday drinks are always welcome, and it’s much easier to pop over to your manager’s desk to ask a question than wait for an email response. Also, great ideas can be formed while catching up over a coffee. But with the return of the office also comes commuting (often with delays), and less time for hobbies, exercise, cooking nutritious meals and catching up with loved ones. It also means more money spent on office lunches and transport, which in a cost of living crisis is making a real impact on many people’s finances.
We may have spent years living like this pre-Covid, not questioning the impact it had on us, but it’s a bit like Pandora’s box: now that we have spent the last three years with an alternative way of working, many women are finding the return to this previous way of working unmanageable.
“I COMMUTE FOR OVER AN HOUR TO GET TO WORK, WHICH IS BOTH TIME CONSUMING AND PHYSICALLY EXHAUSTING”
Sarah*, 32, loves her job at a fashion e-com company based in Manchester. But after working at the company for six years, is leaving after a five days in the office policy was mandated.
“In the pandemic my company told us ‘hybrid working was the future’ and following lockdown restrictions lifting, we worked three days in the office and two days at home. I liked the split as it meant I could have meetings, do brainstorms, have 1:1s with my team on office days, and then on work from home days, I could get my head down and get loads done without distractions,” she explained. “But in July we were told that the company would temporarily be working back in the office five days due to poor sales performance. A week later, that was changed to permanent. I felt completely blindsided.”
Sarah had just bought a house outside of Manchester before this announcement came in, and so her commute to work was now over an hour, and involved multiple modes of transport, combined with trying to get all her normal life admin done, exercising, and seeing friends.
“I’m a busy person who does a lot outside of work and had built my life and routine around my working hours, but this completely disrupted it. I commute for over an hour to get to work (which involves a walk, a train, and a tram) which is both time consuming and physically exhausting,” she said. “Previously hybrid working meant I had some respite, but it immediately felt very intense and exhausting. I ended up cancelling gym classes, saying no to plans with friends, and having to spend my weekends doing the chores I previously managed to get done after work – laundry, housework, food shopping.”
Sarah tried to put in a formal flexible working request which was denied, and so she handed her notice in. “I loved my job but I knew that I was very quickly going to become burned out, and nothing is worth that. Getting up at 5.30am to get into work, commuting for at least two hours a day (sometimes more due to public transport issues), and travelling in the dark for a large portion of the year was not something I was prepared to do everyday. It’s expensive, not safe, and prevented me from doing the extra curricular activities I previously had.
“I felt I didn’t have a life outside of work. I could no longer take walks during the day or go to gym classes, which really help my mental health, especially in the winter. And I had less time to spend with my friends and family.”
Other members of Sarah’s team followed suit and now she says the company is struggling to fill positions as the prospect of a five-day office work week is putting off prospective candidates.
“I FEEL EXHAUSTED AND SCATTERED AGAIN. IT COSTS ME MINIMUM OF AROUND £30 TO LEAVE MY HOUSE ON AN OFFICE DAY.”
Maya*, 29, a copy-writer in London, says she would struggle if her company were to introduce a five-day policy, and is already finding the current three days in her office, along with the long commute, draining after the pandemic allowed her to finally achieve a work/life balance.
“When the pandemic arrived, I had been running the corporate rate race for nearly a decade. Five days a week in office, working overtime, then heading to gym classes, first dates, and social plans in the scant few hours I had left over. I felt I was constantly running on a hamster wheel in life, chasing my tail to fit everything in,” she said. “So when the world slowed down in 2020, it hit me how exhausted I was. While people were developing new hobbies in the pandemic, I just hibernated. I slept, watched TV, went on quiet walks, took baths, and cooked nice meals. For the first time in my adult life it felt I finally had time to look after myself, my nutrition, and keep on top of a clean and orderly home, which in turn reduced my anxiety.”
Now, however, Maya is doing at least three days in the office, and has found the change overwhelming. “I was definitely lucky to keep my job and be able to transition to fully remote for two years. We then came back two days a week, and now a third day has been required, and it’s too much. I feel exhausted and scattered again. My corporate office has a high expectation of appearances, and some days I don’t want to be perceived and judged, I just want to log on in my sweatpants. The extra time I spend on my hair, makeup, and choosing office outfits really drains me some days. I find two office days a week is ideal for meeting my needs for collaboration, teamwork, and socialising,” she said.
It’s not just the exhaustion impacting Maya’s life, but her finances too, “I feel it costs me minimum of around £30 to leave my house on an office day, unless I am meticulously organised and disciplined. I know I should be packing lunches to save money, but with less free time, I am cooking less, and therefore buying Pret lunches for convenience.
“If a job tried to force us back into five days a week, I would probably leave in search of a more flexible role, as it improves my quality of life so much.” Maya adds, which is a sentiment we’re hearing a lot.
While it is, of course, a privilege to even be able to have the discussion of flexible working, it feels like an unnecessary situation. Companies are spending time and money to recruit new employees because they’re losing talented ones, and in turn current employees are feeling burnt-out, stressed, and struggling with their finances. Who is the return of the traditional 9 to 5 actually benefiting?
*Names have been changed to protect identities
Reference: Article written for Cosmopltitan by LYDIA VENN
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